I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
