is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize