youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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