tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
