toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
