ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Randomize
