did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
