hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
