There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
