Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
as a side note pls kill me
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
