The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Randomize
