It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
