she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
