I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
