didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Just high enough for therapy.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
