I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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