i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
