Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize