Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
