Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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