I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize