the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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