Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
