4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
tell your sister to shave her snatch
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
