That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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