If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
