sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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