please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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