Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
