i just had sex bonerless
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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