Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
