I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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