Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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