He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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