we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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