Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
