I hope mine doesn't look like that
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
