oh god the rape fog is back!
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
