Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
