we have pet lesbian snakes
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
