just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
