Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
