There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
