so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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