we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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