see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I deserve this hangover.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
