We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
