allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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