WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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