We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Randomize
