We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
