Whoa Z and x make the same sound
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
