I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
