Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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