He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
