Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Randomize
