My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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