he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Randomize
