I'm going to jail i love you
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
