I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Randomize
