who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
