your room smells of hookers.
And success
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
