ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
