Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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