I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
high people should be assigned attendants
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I will be naked everywhere
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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