Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Less talking, more tequila
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
