New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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