so explain again why im purple
no
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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