Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I think people are normalizing furries
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
