Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I have tasted many bathrooms
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
