Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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