When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize