i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
