Betty ford says i'm here all night
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
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