You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
